27 August 2008

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire . . . make that the feet

Yes, it has been almost three week since my last post. The myelitis has really flared up. I had a flare up about a month ago, it went away and then really came back a week later. Spastic calf muscles and my feet were on fire. It got so back that I had to dispense with my normal business casual attire for work. The dress socks and shoes had to go. Nothing like that constant feeling of walking on broken glass. Out comes the no show socks and running shoes. Fortunately, dress shoes and running shoes are black so nobody noticed. This week has been a roller coaster. Some days good, some days not so good.

My foray into personal training is probably about over. As most people do, they give working out about a month and then give up when they don't see any results. Said person was told change your lifestyle or you are heading for an early grave. Fear of dying is a great motivator. At first. Then the old habits kick back in and the questions arise:

Why am I doing this?
What good is it?
If nothing is happening, why continue?

I've always been active and it wasn't until about 33 where I felt the need to work out in order to keep what I had for volleyball. There were some months were I didn't work out at all. Since I was diagnosed, there has only been a week here or there where I didn't work out. It has taken a really long time to develop and tone muscles. Always being athletic and competing on a higher level, I know it was going to take a while.

I told said person that. Don't give up on yourself, you have to make a commitment to it and after a while, it becomes a habit and then it something that you get addicted to. Fall out of it and it will be hard to get yourself back into it. Keep a positive mental attitude. After a tough week, back come the cigarettes and the rationalization. Forgotten is the thing that got it all started in the first place: Change or die.

Thought for the day.

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