19 September 2008

Teneo vestri ego

To know ones self. . . Just as before, the tablet steroid taper didn't work. I still have one day of two tablets and five of one. Just as before, starting about halfway into the 60 milligrams, it just came back. I should have stuck with the direct infusions for the five days and the 20 day taper.

I also played volleyball last night. The new league started that I agreed to play in way back in June. Mixed blessings. 4.0 on passing/-.500 on hitting percentage/7-to-1 on ace-to-error percentage.

Next week . . . could be entirely different.

F it all to hell.

09 September 2008

"No news is good news; If it bleads it leads . . ."

When there's nothing to report, it's boring. Go back to my recent post of people that say they don't let their disease rule their lives. With any flare up of MS, the treatment is steroids, if the flare up is bad enough. The taper packs that are given to people for skin allergies or poison ivy/oak aren't anywhere near to what I take.

Saturday, as usual my knees felt like exploding and my muscles burned. Nothing to worry about. It happened the last time. Before I ever had steroids, I was told get used to no sleep and that was from somebody on the small doses. It's no joke. I finally fell asleep about 3 in the morning and woke up at 7 and dozed for another 90 minutes. Sunday, pretty much the same thing. Monday, get ready for work which meant buying Red Bull on Sunday.

The cool thing about steroids is that even with the lack of sleep, you're still wide awake. Until you crash which usually happens every couple days. Yesterday was the crash. Now, no sleep on Tuesday or Wednesday, crash on Thursday.

As with the last time, the 80 mg work well. 60 mg starts on Thursday. Does it go back to the way it was or does it stay minimized until the next flare up that won't go away? Time will tell.

Tell me how someone can say that they don't let their disease rule or dictate their lives when they have to face three weeks of no sleep, increased appetite, increase weight?

05 September 2008

Pass the Juice

Since someone near and dear accused me of being rather lame lately on publishing my posts, how about back to back posts?

I had my six month check up with the neurologist today.These things are always a little apprehensive since you have to divulge every little bit about "How are you feeling?" The sad part of it is besides being on disease modifying drugs, there's not a damn thing they can do for you. The usual treatments for exacerbation's are steroids. Which aren't any joy either. Anybody that has done a taper pack for a skin allergy can kind of equate. People with MS and transverse myelitis get mega-doses.

Since my flare up is probably myelitis, since I don't have the usual tell-tales of an MS flare up, I get to go back on the steroids. Pass the juice, please. My mega-dose is 80 Mg's for 5 days, 60 for 5, 40 for 5, 20 for 5.

Welcome to 20 days of sleepless nights and a case of Red Bull to get me through the mornings for the next three weeks. As much as it sucks having an IV line in for 5 days, I would have rather had the Solumedrol which delivers 1 gram of prednisone in an hour and then done the taper. But I'm not the doctor. Also had a major misconception that you can't be on steroids and interferon at the same time. Evidently, you can.

I will bid everyone goodnight on my final night of a good sleep for a while and if anyone wants to call me, I'll be up. ;-)

04 September 2008

Che giova a te, cor mio, l'esser amato?
Che giova a me l'aver si caro amante?
Perche crudo destino -
Ne disunisci tu s' Amor ne stringe?

01 September 2008

Selfless or Selfish

I had been thinking about writting this for a while. Yes, it's more of philosophy from Steve. Call it a guilted and jaded view on life, but of those who know me, even though they may not agree with it, they can understand why I would say what I would say.

I tend to believe that we humans are more selfish than selfless. Does selflessness even exist any longer?

I posed this question just the other day with someone I would never have expected to have this conversation with. If someone donates $5 and they feel good about their donation doesn't that make the act one of selfishness as opposed to the person that gives $5 and doesn't care about it afterward?

Does the phrase "Doing something out of the goodness of the heart" even exist any more? Are any acts of kindness done just to do them or are the self-serving? When asked to do something do we say yes without thinking about it or do we consider the issues that lie beneath as something we can use later on.

Something to think about and comment on if one so chooses.