19 May 2008

Less is more . . .

Not a lot to write for last week. After my running hurdle that I crossed, I fell off on everything else. Due to the crazy St. Louis weather of having rain at least twice a week, my intention to work out last Tuesday was cut short by the quarter sized hail that started just I was leaving. While the Hummer is solidly built, the roof is just as flimsy as any other car. Driving on the highway in a hailstorm . . . I love my truck more than working out. Then that set the tone for the rest of the week. I wasn't as sore as I thought I was going to be after the run and that was about the only good thing of the week.

I did run again today. It wasn't as bad as last week, save for the spastic muscles in my butt and thigh. But I toughed it out.

Shots I was a big baby. Usually, I do a couple of deep breathes and pull the trigger. Last week I was running a marathon. Stomach didn't hurt so bad, butt . . . not as bad as the previous weeks (I took the shot out the day before) my leg was best of all. Since that is where most of the myelitis is centered, I hardly ever feel it.

Artist of the week . . . Not so much an artist but a genre and all it's sub-genre's.

Paul Oakenfold and when he collaborates . . . Oakenfold, DJ Rap, Iio, Amber, Basement Jaxx, Frankie Knuckles, and the list goes on and on.

Any one reading this is probably going WTF? by now. To the uninitiated it's techno. To those familiar: house, trance, trance-hop, drum and base, and the list goes on and on.

When you lived the club life, it's the music that made you move. Plus, I think it would really cool to be a DJ. Especially when it's late, most of the crowd that is only there to be seen has left, and the DJ goes freestyle.

12 May 2008

Somebody . . . follow me in the ambulance

I held off on writing anything because of what I wanted to do today. The myelitis is always more pronounced while at work. Whether is the sitting or the dress socks that I have to wear, my feet always tingle more at work than any other time. So . . . I planned on sucking up my pride, but mostly my lack of pride and I decided to run.

I don't have anything to prove to anyone other than myself.

At some point you have to get beyond telling yourself that your limited by the cards you have been given, bluff your way into going all in and just doing your best and don't muck the hand. Enough poker metaphors.

To borrow another phrase, this one from "Risky Business" "Sometimes you have to ask yourself What the F**k?"

I didn't have any expectations. How could I? I didn't set any speed records. I'm probably the fastest 35 year old that runs like a 50 year old. After about a quarter of a mile, my feet felt really heavy but I didn't have any of the coordination loss that I had when I was first diagnosed.

The next step. . . sucking up enough courage and playing indoor volleyball again. That's a much harder thing though. It's one thing to tell people you know outside of what your know for about the person you are now. It's something entirely different going back to a game that was your passion and knowing that it's never going to be the same and having to explain to people who have known you for years that the player the knew was dead and that I'm just a regular guy playing a game.

Not that I'm Michael Jordan or anything, but I would be willing to bet that he would give anything to play professional level basketball again. Knowing that he can't, playing anything below that isn't quite the same. There's always something lacking.

Anyway, last week was okay. It would have to be to make me run. One thing to take note of is the shots in my ass have really started to hurt. The first time, I thought it was because I took the shot out late, but last week hurt worse than the first. Damn it.

Artist in this case Band of the Week.


What's there to say about a band that puts out a CD of the brother's doing nothing but arguing? Pick an album and they have awesome songs on it. "What's the Story Morning Glory" is probably the best and it was so good that it produced two separate releases of the B - Sides and some of them should have been on the original album. MTV Unplugged had some great performances and Oasis, well, Noel had one of the best performances.

04 May 2008

Titles? Who needs them.

Not much in a writing mood today. The creative juices for a pithy title aren't flowing.

Not much happened last week. No news is good news. I was sore for a couple days after my new venture into volleyball. It was a good pain though. I worked out three times during the week. I took Friday off of work and lifted heavy for my upper body on Friday. Saturday, I had the deep muscle pain. I also played volleyball again for a couple hours. I even managed to run around and sprint without the decrease co-ordination that was usually associated with the myelitis. I may even try to run sometime this week. My three shots went fine as well. I didn't have the usually morning aches on Tuesday. That's been hit and miss for the last month or so.

I also saw some people that I haven't seen in a while. They told me they did the MS Walk because of me. Flattering and I said think you, but it's always an emotional rollercoaster when I get told that. It just sends my mind swimming. On one level, I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this. What is life going to hold for me? Am I ever going to present with recognizable symptoms? What happens if and when I ever do? What damage is going to be done?

Then, the objective, logical, and cynical portion of my brain kicks in. The MS Walks and rides are supposed to raise money for research. As with all things when there's a "National" involved . . . how much of that money goes towards administration costs and how much goes for actual research. With some charity organizations, it's absurd how much goes towards administrative costs and how little gets to the people who really need it.

I'm not naive enough to believe that there will be a cure in my life. There very well may be a cure, but believing in it is probably a false hope. How many auto-immune diseases are out there that are "controlable and managable" and how many are cureable. If anything, a cure probably isn't in a drug. As with all things, it will probably start at the genetic level and changing some gene that tells the body to stop attacking itself. It's only been 10 years or so since the Human Genome Project was completed.

Music Artist of the Week: Ryan Adams

Pop, folk, country.

"Love is Hell" is probably my favorite album. It has an excellent cover of "Wonderwall" and "Avalanche" is excellent and has been in a ton of movies. For One Tree Hill fans . . . Haley and Chis Keller covered "When the Stars go Blue." I like the Ryan Adams version better.