I held off on writing anything because of what I wanted to do today. The myelitis is always more pronounced while at work. Whether is the sitting or the dress socks that I have to wear, my feet always tingle more at work than any other time. So . . . I planned on sucking up my pride, but mostly my lack of pride and I decided to run.
I don't have anything to prove to anyone other than myself.
At some point you have to get beyond telling yourself that your limited by the cards you have been given, bluff your way into going all in and just doing your best and don't muck the hand. Enough poker metaphors.
To borrow another phrase, this one from "Risky Business" "Sometimes you have to ask yourself What the F**k?"
I didn't have any expectations. How could I? I didn't set any speed records. I'm probably the fastest 35 year old that runs like a 50 year old. After about a quarter of a mile, my feet felt really heavy but I didn't have any of the coordination loss that I had when I was first diagnosed.
The next step. . . sucking up enough courage and playing indoor volleyball again. That's a much harder thing though. It's one thing to tell people you know outside of what your know for about the person you are now. It's something entirely different going back to a game that was your passion and knowing that it's never going to be the same and having to explain to people who have known you for years that the player the knew was dead and that I'm just a regular guy playing a game.
Not that I'm Michael Jordan or anything, but I would be willing to bet that he would give anything to play professional level basketball again. Knowing that he can't, playing anything below that isn't quite the same. There's always something lacking.
Anyway, last week was okay. It would have to be to make me run. One thing to take note of is the shots in my ass have really started to hurt. The first time, I thought it was because I took the shot out late, but last week hurt worse than the first. Damn it.
Artist in this case Band of the Week.
What's there to say about a band that puts out a CD of the brother's doing nothing but arguing? Pick an album and they have awesome songs on it. "What's the Story Morning Glory" is probably the best and it was so good that it produced two separate releases of the B - Sides and some of them should have been on the original album. MTV Unplugged had some great performances and Oasis, well, Noel had one of the best performances.