Pontification for the masses

This week won't be exactly on topic and that's okay. Last week was a little rough. I played volleyball on Tuesday and Thursday. Thursday was better than Tuesday, but that person that was graceful and light on their feet is no more. I fall down like a house of bricks and can't pop up like I used to. Such is life.

I missed my shot time on Wednesday by three hours. I don't know if I paid the price for the next day or not, but I felt like crap. It was either that or my allergies or both. Friday's, as always, are the enjoyable shot days. It was in my left leg which is the worse out of the two. I think I could jab myself with a screwdriver and I wouldn't feel it.

Saturday was a sad and depressing day. I held and fed a three week old little girl. The mother . . . a child herself. "Sins of the father . . . " is just as applicable to mother's as well. The new grandmother, age 35, gave birth to her child at 18. Said child gave birth at 17. What does the future hold for this little one?

When one has an outside perspective, it's possible to see things coming a long way off. Not that I am expert in raising a child, far from it. I have coached enough children to know a problem when it exists. Only to late did the mother realize her child was on the wrong path. By that time, at age 15, she was beyond reach and help. Nobody is beyond help, but when the person to provide it is lacking in a moral compass and is just a self centered as her daughter, what help is there?

Where does everything stand now? The mother of this precious child no longer has custody. DFS has awarded custody to another relative. Sadly, the mother probably does not care. "I have been relieved of burden." The selfish always turn things around to fit themselves. This self centered child will undoubtedly change this around to fit her own purposes. "Poor me, my child was taken away . . . pity me and adore me for I am the down trodden!!"

This tiny little baby has a very uncertain future ahead of her. It is very likely that the mother was a druggie. Only time will tell if there is any permanent damage. She is active and does cry, but at three weeks who is to say if that is a good sign or not.

I feel sorry for this little girl because nobody should have to grow up in such a situation. As I said, sad and depressing.

In that theme: White Lion - When the Children Cry.

"On the dark side of the moon . . ."

Such is summer . . . the time of being busy and just hanging out, spur of the moment plans and enjoying the moment.

The shots went okay last Monday and Friday. Wednesday's almost made my knees buckle it hurt so bad. Thursday, I did something I haven't done in a long time. I left work, went to the courts and played volleyball for a couple hours, went to the Y, played in a league game, went and got some dinner and then went back and played some more sand. Friday was a little rough but it was worth it.

Today, I played again and played horrible. Not that anyone else could do any better. It could be that I am just out of practice. Fundamentals are called that because they are fundamental. When I was at the top of my game, the fundamentals were things that I didn't have to think about. Feet placement: perfect; balance: perfect; court vision and court sense: perfect. Today, I had to think about all of those things before I did them.

I did show some signs of past glory. I had a one handed back set that went from zone four to nine. As usual with those sets, not only did I fake out the other team, but my team as well. Then I had an open hand dig on a driven ball.

On the home front . . . the parents put a contract down on a house today. It's everything that I hate. It's a gated community, high gabled roof, the street name is the typical manufactured, symbiotic to the name of community, the typical, cookie cutter house. It does have some character to it, but it lacks vision. A house isn't just four walls, a door and windows.

Since no artist of the week last week . . . this week we'll go with Siouxsie and the Banshee's. 'Nuff said.

The Liberation Has Begun

It's been a rather busy week. My parents have begun their pre-move move. They left Friday in search of their new abode and the transfer for theirs to mine has begun. The man-cave is being renovated which began on Thursday with the delivery of my 52 inch flat screen TV and stand along with the new X-Box on Friday. Before this, I already bought the Blu-ray. One word: WOW.

Yesterday, I had a wedding to attend. The first week in June is usually one of two things: hot or moderate with the weekend just the exact opposite. Yesterday was hotter then hell. Most weddings, guys can dispense with the sport coat and just wear a tie and button down. Needless to say, I was hot. Also, I was over dressed. One guy walked into the church in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. WTF?

I got to spend some time with two people that I haven't spent time with in a while since my life changed. Add two more people two the list that know. As always, the reactions were wide spread: Oh, that sucks, I'm sorry. The other person is a year away from graduating med school and she didn't have a lot to say other then ask how I dealt with the side affects from the interferon. Sometimes it's just nice to receive that knowing look without having to go through a lengthy explanation. Then there's always that: I have it, but I don't explanation as well.

Anyway, today I was pretty tired and it doesn't have anything to do with the MS. It was just a busy weekend and going to bed late and waking up annoyingly early didn't help. Shots this week went okay. I have a nice bruise on my stomach. Haven't had one of those in a while. If there's anything enjoyable about my injections it's Friday's. Friday's I shoot myself in the leg. Since my left one is the worse one as far as the tingles go, I hardly feel it.

I Dipped My Toe In And The Water Was Warm . . .

To the masses that are reading this ;-) I haven't written in a couple weeks because there hasn't been a lot to say. The sameness of the days tends to run together and there's nothing new to report. Last weekend my allergies were out of this world. There wasn't a lot going on for the holiday weekend thankfully enough. Last week, much of the same: I worked out and I shot up.

Today, I bucked up the courage and went and played volleyball. As my previous writings revealed, it's difficult knowing how one once played versus how one plays now. They only difference between then and now is that I am just rusty. All the important things are still there, it's just the fine tuning that needs to be worked on.

Now that I've dipped my toe in and the water is fine, it's time to play again.

Artist of the week . . .

Two bands that helped to make CBGB's what it was: The Ramones and Blondie.

Less is more . . .

Not a lot to write for last week. After my running hurdle that I crossed, I fell off on everything else. Due to the crazy St. Louis weather of having rain at least twice a week, my intention to work out last Tuesday was cut short by the quarter sized hail that started just I was leaving. While the Hummer is solidly built, the roof is just as flimsy as any other car. Driving on the highway in a hailstorm . . . I love my truck more than working out. Then that set the tone for the rest of the week. I wasn't as sore as I thought I was going to be after the run and that was about the only good thing of the week.

I did run again today. It wasn't as bad as last week, save for the spastic muscles in my butt and thigh. But I toughed it out.

Shots I was a big baby. Usually, I do a couple of deep breathes and pull the trigger. Last week I was running a marathon. Stomach didn't hurt so bad, butt . . . not as bad as the previous weeks (I took the shot out the day before) my leg was best of all. Since that is where most of the myelitis is centered, I hardly ever feel it.

Artist of the week . . . Not so much an artist but a genre and all it's sub-genre's.

Paul Oakenfold and when he collaborates . . . Oakenfold, DJ Rap, Iio, Amber, Basement Jaxx, Frankie Knuckles, and the list goes on and on.

Any one reading this is probably going WTF? by now. To the uninitiated it's techno. To those familiar: house, trance, trance-hop, drum and base, and the list goes on and on.

When you lived the club life, it's the music that made you move. Plus, I think it would really cool to be a DJ. Especially when it's late, most of the crowd that is only there to be seen has left, and the DJ goes freestyle.

Somebody . . . follow me in the ambulance

I held off on writing anything because of what I wanted to do today. The myelitis is always more pronounced while at work. Whether is the sitting or the dress socks that I have to wear, my feet always tingle more at work than any other time. So . . . I planned on sucking up my pride, but mostly my lack of pride and I decided to run.

I don't have anything to prove to anyone other than myself.

At some point you have to get beyond telling yourself that your limited by the cards you have been given, bluff your way into going all in and just doing your best and don't muck the hand. Enough poker metaphors.

To borrow another phrase, this one from "Risky Business" "Sometimes you have to ask yourself What the F**k?"

I didn't have any expectations. How could I? I didn't set any speed records. I'm probably the fastest 35 year old that runs like a 50 year old. After about a quarter of a mile, my feet felt really heavy but I didn't have any of the coordination loss that I had when I was first diagnosed.

The next step. . . sucking up enough courage and playing indoor volleyball again. That's a much harder thing though. It's one thing to tell people you know outside of what your know for about the person you are now. It's something entirely different going back to a game that was your passion and knowing that it's never going to be the same and having to explain to people who have known you for years that the player the knew was dead and that I'm just a regular guy playing a game.

Not that I'm Michael Jordan or anything, but I would be willing to bet that he would give anything to play professional level basketball again. Knowing that he can't, playing anything below that isn't quite the same. There's always something lacking.

Anyway, last week was okay. It would have to be to make me run. One thing to take note of is the shots in my ass have really started to hurt. The first time, I thought it was because I took the shot out late, but last week hurt worse than the first. Damn it.


Artist in this case Band of the Week.

Oasis

What's there to say about a band that puts out a CD of the brother's doing nothing but arguing? Pick an album and they have awesome songs on it. "What's the Story Morning Glory" is probably the best and it was so good that it produced two separate releases of the B - Sides and some of them should have been on the original album. MTV Unplugged had some great performances and Oasis, well, Noel had one of the best performances.

Titles? Who needs them.

Not much in a writing mood today. The creative juices for a pithy title aren't flowing.

Not much happened last week. No news is good news. I was sore for a couple days after my new venture into volleyball. It was a good pain though. I worked out three times during the week. I took Friday off of work and lifted heavy for my upper body on Friday. Saturday, I had the deep muscle pain. I also played volleyball again for a couple hours. I even managed to run around and sprint without the decrease co-ordination that was usually associated with the myelitis. I may even try to run sometime this week. My three shots went fine as well. I didn't have the usually morning aches on Tuesday. That's been hit and miss for the last month or so.

I also saw some people that I haven't seen in a while. They told me they did the MS Walk because of me. Flattering and I said think you, but it's always an emotional rollercoaster when I get told that. It just sends my mind swimming. On one level, I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this. What is life going to hold for me? Am I ever going to present with recognizable symptoms? What happens if and when I ever do? What damage is going to be done?

Then, the objective, logical, and cynical portion of my brain kicks in. The MS Walks and rides are supposed to raise money for research. As with all things when there's a "National" involved . . . how much of that money goes towards administration costs and how much goes for actual research. With some charity organizations, it's absurd how much goes towards administrative costs and how little gets to the people who really need it.

I'm not naive enough to believe that there will be a cure in my life. There very well may be a cure, but believing in it is probably a false hope. How many auto-immune diseases are out there that are "controlable and managable" and how many are cureable. If anything, a cure probably isn't in a drug. As with all things, it will probably start at the genetic level and changing some gene that tells the body to stop attacking itself. It's only been 10 years or so since the Human Genome Project was completed.

Music Artist of the Week: Ryan Adams

Pop, folk, country.

"Love is Hell" is probably my favorite album. It has an excellent cover of "Wonderwall" and "Avalanche" is excellent and has been in a ton of movies. For One Tree Hill fans . . . Haley and Chis Keller covered "When the Stars go Blue." I like the Ryan Adams version better.