Not really waxing philosophical today. I did a leg workout and did a cardio afterwards. Cardio was probably a mistake. It was warm in the fitness center and I probably did to much. I've done nothing but sit on my butt for the last month. For those who think volleyball is a picnic game it's not. It's a game of going from a complete stop to a burst of speed. The correct term is anaerobic. You have to have good aerobic fitness to have good anaerobic fitness. The mind remembers what the body used to be able to do. The body, on the other hand, fights against the mind. Muscle memory is forgotten. Add MS and myelitis to the picture. There is no such thing as what I used to do, it's "what can I do today." I went a little hard today. I was sucking air on an elliptical machine and gave myself a terrible headache. It bordered between a brain freeze and a migraine.
I wanted to take the time to thank the person that decided to comment on my post from yesterday. I didn't know if anyone was reading and frankly, not expecting one after only 8 posts. I've played volleyball for 17 years. There's not much that I haven't done in the sport. I learned the game on my own and had and have a genuine love for the game. In the last few years, when the kids that I coached could beat the coach and it got harder and harder to make it through the day, age was telling me something. What really killed it was the cliques. That's a novel in itself. I've been moving farther from the game for the last couple of years.
Had this happened four or five years ago when I was at the peak of "career" I would have been devastated. As it is, while my time away from volleyball has been greater and greater, it sucks that I just can't go play. Nevertheless, I do realize I am on a journey:physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and every other "ly" that could be thought of. I know that there are things I can do and not a lot that I can't. It's just the things I used to excel at are a struggle. I realize that, but tell that to the competitor in me.
A lot has changed for me and everyday is new and different and I am fine with that.